on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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