I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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