Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
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