Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
tell me about the fingering
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
