he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
