Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
