Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
