She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
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its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
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