talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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