we have officially lost it.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
