I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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