Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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