and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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