she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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