i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
