i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize