Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
