I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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