just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
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I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
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wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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