it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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