I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
