eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
