I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
