Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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