WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
there was a trapeze. enough said
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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