It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
