That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
