Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
