I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
