i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
