Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
