did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
