he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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