have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
