Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
