I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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