That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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