She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
