put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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