He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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