Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
