Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
If I die, sorry about rent.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
