Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
