so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
