too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
