Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
