ugly people sure do ruin things
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just want to make out with him forever
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
