You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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