Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
My penis needs a shock collar
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
