Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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