Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
