the new term for farting is butt boxing.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Actions speak louder than pants.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
