im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
