pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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