do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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