YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize