i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You pole danced in your parka.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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