we have officially lost it.
It's Friday. Sex?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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