So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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