just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
