My brain says no but my pants say off.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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